D2 CRESCENDO: April 2010

After getting off the phone with one of my good friends I started thinking. It seems like she is always in the situation where she is torn between staying with some trifling guy and leaving him. Wanting to leave someone that she knows is not good for her at all, but still unable to completely let go. It seems like this would generally be a very easy decision to make, but in all reality I guess it just is not for some people. I thought about all of the reasons she gave for not letting go of such a cancerous relationship…I thought that it just did not add up. I could also relate to her because I know that I've have played the fool in my past. No matter what anyone told me, in the end I made my own decisions and it would be to continue to pursue this person that obviously did not deserve my affections. The truth is when you are so emotionally invested in a person it is not that easy to just say goodbye. You want that person to figure it out and change. You want them to realize that you can give them everything they need and considering the fact that you are probably giving them all of you anyway, it is not that farfetched.

When that other person just does not seem to get it, you’re sometimes left feeling inadequate or less than. You sometimes blame yourself and wonder if it is something that you’re doing that causes them to seek out other companionship. You focus too much on blaming yourself that you fail to realize that is not you with the problem it is them. They are the ones that are not satisfied with one person. They are the ones that continue to live the lie. Instead of just being upfront about not wanting to be in a committed relationship, they continue to string you along giving you just enough so that you continue to hang on, hoping and praying for the day that they decide that you are finally enough. It's just not fair! It's not fair to you to be in a relationship with someone that is not investing as much into it as you are. It is not fair to you to give all of your heart to someone only to receive half in return. It is not fair for them to give you additional stress and grief other than what already comes with being in a relationship. It just really sucks and no one deserves that sort of treatment. So what do I suggest that you do if you ever find yourself in a situation like this? I suggest that you just let go. As hard as it is (and trust me I know it is hard) you have to let go in order to get yourself to the place where you can look for a relationship that will be completely fulfilling for both parties involved. I want you to do what you know is the right decision for you no matter what; so if you’re happy being in that relationship go ahead and stay in it by all means. But please be sure to ask yourself if you are really happy or if you are just too scared to let go. It is understandable because that can be one of the hardest things for a person to do. Even though we might know that it is the best and healthiest thing for us to do it does not make it any easier to accomplish. Why is it always so hard to let go?-Chikamnario Ugbaja